stage one

Here's to helping another military wife know she's not alone.

Lee is leaving soon and only for training. He won’t be in harm’s way for several more months but I feel like our deployment is starting early. Why must I make myself feel like I’m being faced with a 20 month deployment instead of 12? However, today IS a good day.


I’ve done some research and I’m at Stage 1.

The 7 Stages of the Emotional Cycle of Deployment

Despite the many who claim otherwise, the military spouse leads a different life from most. This harsh truth becomes most evident when your family prepares for a deployment. A deployment is a scary, emotional, yet liberating journey for the spouse left behind to take care of a home and finances.

There are seven identifiable stages that the majority of military spouses go through.

Pre-Deployment: Anticipation of Loss (Stage 1)
You are moody and depressed, and this causes friction between you and your spouse. You are a tight little ball of stress and anxiety, and hate yourself for feeling this way. You and your spouse are at each other's throats even when you know in your heart you should be cherishing each day left together.


This is so true. A tall glass of water about to overflow. Crying on the drop of the hat and it taking 10 years to fall asleep most nights because wild thoughts swim your brain. Work is routine and kept completely separate from personal struggles. "Show time." The holiday brings welcomed smiles and laughter from visits with family and friends but sometimes you feel like you have to mustard all the energy you have to simply get groceries. You bicker with your spouse about the dumbest of dumb things and then regret wasting cherished time by your silliness later. When things are good, they are really good but it can be a constant struggle to not withdraw from the person you love most at this time and keep your head held up high.

Deserving Shout Out

We often listen to NPR on the radio to and from work everyday. Today was no different. After dropping me off at the airport this morning, Lee called me before he made it to work to tell me what he had just heard on the radio. After forwarding me the NPR link to listen to later, he told me that I should check out the blog while I waited for my plane. Curious by the inspired tone of Lee's voice, I immediately uploaded the page on my phone. I wasn't able to make it through a single post without crying. I dried my eyes after kicking myself for letting myself forget that I was in an airport. A Little Bit of Pink in a World of Camo is too real to read. While she blogs her reality, I read my biggest fears. She says: "On March 14, 2010, my beloved Mr. P was taken from me while fighting in Operation Enduring Freedom in Marjah, Afghanistan. He is still my absolute rock and without him I would not be the woman I am today. He was and remains an amazing man and a hell of a Marine. He is also a wonderful daddy, even though he never got to meet his baby girl. Instead of awaiting his homecoming, I am now living each day until I meet him again." This inspiring new mommy recently won the Best Military Spouse Blog Award and she is a reminder to us all to love hard. Everyday.