Tuesday, December 20, 2011

stage one

Here's to helping another military wife know she's not alone.

Lee is leaving soon and only for training. He won’t be in harm’s way for several more months but I feel like our deployment is starting early. Why must I make myself feel like I’m being faced with a 20 month deployment instead of 12? However, today IS a good day.

I’ve done some research and I’m at Stage 1.

The 7 Stages of the Emotional Cycle of Deployment
Despite the many who claim otherwise, the military spouse leads a different life from most. This harsh truth becomes most evident when your family prepares for a deployment. A deployment is a scary, emotional, yet liberating journey for the spouse left behind to take care of a home and finances.

There are seven identifiable stages that the majority of military spouses go through.

Pre-Deployment: Anticipation of Loss (Stage 1)
You are moody and depressed, and this causes friction between you and your spouse. You are a tight little ball of stress and anxiety, and hate yourself for feeling this way. You and your spouse are at each other's throats even when you know in your heart you should be cherishing each day left together.

This is so true. A tall glass of water about to overflow. Crying on the drop of the hat and it taking 10 years to fall asleep most nights because wild thoughts swim your brain. Work is routine and kept completely separate from personal struggles. "Show time." The holiday brings welcomed smiles and laughter from visits with family and friends but sometimes you feel like you have to mustard all the energy you have to simply get groceries. You bicker with your spouse about the dumbest of dumb things and then regret wasting cherished time by your silliness later. When things are good, they are really good but it can be a constant struggle to not withdraw from the person you love most at this time and keep your head held up high.

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