Wednesday, November 30, 2011

fierce & thankful

You are in control of your own success, DO NOT LET YOURSELF DOWN!
This was written in hubby's monthly newsletter in reference to his upcoming drill preparation. I just read it and wanted to share with you all. In the spirit of keeping it real and truly sharing this journey with you all, I have been incredibly unmotivated, moody and disconnected in my down time lately. Having unfocused energy isn't good for me right now and I'm determined to take control of my own destiny again. I've come to realize (by discussion with my new friend and also fellow military spouse, Lindsay) that I am fiercely independent and "Normal Erin" looks for new challenges always and it is often HARD to take the back seat and let your husband's career be the lead when you are still looking to be personally fulfilled. Although Lee is in the National Guard and this military life is temporary, it can be hard to blend two lifestyles that are so wildly different. The word deployment triggers new fears and the quantities of worries are significant and the heartache is indescribable to a spouse left behind to guard the home front.

Casting all your care upon Him; for he careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7 (KJV)
Ha! Easier said than done, right?! I.Will.Try.Harder.

We have a ton to be thankful for and look forward to when Lee returns home. The training hubby is receiving is laying the groundwork for our family's future and we have the rest of our lives for me to snuggle into the nook of his armpit at night. I'm not perfect and I can't say that I'm going to dramatically turn a leaf overnight, but I CAN keep pushing forward to a more positive tomorrow.


Lindsay Swoboda said...

Aww girl thanks for the shout out! I am glad you are making that choice to take control of you. In a military lifestyle, there isn't much you have control over, but you do have control over your attitude towards it and the choice it is to be happy...always makes me think of the Pursuit of Happyness movie w/will smith and the line he says about "how did Thomas Jefferson KNOW to put in the Constituion 'life, liberty, and the PURSUIT of happiness'"??! He just knew...and I hope you know that you aren't alone in this:) It is a big transition! Love reading your posts:) any questions, seriously always a click away:)

Erin said...

You're so sweet!